a more difficult week

This has been a little harder week, but I guess that's just what makes life, learning, and living fun. A lot of our main investigators either got busy or haven't really been returning our calls, so we have been really working this week to renew our teaching pool. But despite our frustrations, we were definitely blessed when we relied on God to find who we could teach and were able to find a couple new people to teach this week. I'll keep you updated more as we teach them in the future!

This week I read a great talk by Elder Bednar titled something like "That we might not shrink." He tells a story about this newly married couple who only weeks after their marriage find out that the husband has cancer with a less-than-hopeful chance of long term survival. As part of the story, they asked Elder Bednar to give him a blessing and he said he first wanted to ask some questions and unexpectedly asks "I know you have the faith to be healed, but do you have the faith to NOT be healed?" The talk continues to elaborate on "the faith to not be healed," and it made me think about where my faith lies and how much a REALLY trust God and His eternal perspective of things. When we experience trials, it is hard enough to have the faith that God can make it better, but I think it takes even more faith to trust that He can make it better, but might not, knowing a greater vision of what we really need. Sometimes as a missionary I think I just wish that I could finally get rid of my imperfections and become what I perceive as the perfect tool in God's hands to just perfectly powerfully bless the lives of others. But I know that God understands me and he understands you. He knows what He is doing. We just need to trust in Him. He will guide us, He will bless us, and He will comfort us. He understands a so much grander, broader, more glorious picture than any of us can imagine. Let's trust that He is, that He loves, and that He knows! Let's have the faith to sometimes not be healed, at least not right away, knowing that God is over all and that all things are for our good! 

I love you all and hope you have a wonderful day!!

Love, Elder Tolman